If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. – Leviticus 20:13
The loneliness of the city has always fascinated me. The idea that I am no one to anyone and everyone. That I can be alone in a sea of people. That I can be anybody and nobody at the same time. You are a nobody. I am a nobody.
He was somebody. But I don’t talk about it. Not anymore, not here.
I hate the city. I hate the crowds, the noise, the general hustle and bustle of it. I hate the too-close-for-comfort of it, the invasiveness. Being alone but never escaping anyone. But the city is like an addiction. It draws me in only to spit me out again. Or maybe it is the ocean, beating me into a pulp only to make me something new. Something different, better.
He loved the ocean, didn’t he? Had never seen it in his life, but he loved it. Loved it like I loved him. But I don’t talk about it.
Time is different in the city. All these things to do, events to attend, days to plan and there is never enough time to fit it all. So much time passes in the city. One moment, it’s been a month since I moved here, the next it’s been four years. That long? I think. That long, I answer. Amazing how time flies.
Time is relative, he would have said. A human construct.
He was smart like that. I miss it.
The late night conversations we had. I miss those too.
The nights spent at his house doing nothing but lying in bed, staring at the ceiling.
All this was before. Before his parents found out. His parents who told my parents. His parents cared a lot more.
If his mother finds him…
If his father finds him…